A technology enthusiast gone horribly wrong..somewhere.
Passers-by stood around the badly mangled remains, in stunned silence, while the policeman pulled out a mobile phone stained in blood, from next to what used to be the LCD display of the car stereo stuck at the track that was probably playing when the crash occurred, while the driver lay motionless, with blood pouring from his head that had banged against the windshield. (more…)
I’ve always hated blogging about my life. Philosophy though, has always been my interests. I’ve always analyzed the behaviour of the people I’ve interacted with, and more often than not, it gives me a good insight into what kind of a person they are.
I’m traditionally a person who’s borderline hot headed. I’ve been through phases where I’ve flown into fits of rage, probably totally unwarranted and uncalled for, more often than not. Unwarranted, not because the cause for it was not genuine, but because in hindsight, it is simply not worth it. One act of wrath can change a hundred docile, simple words you’ve used to convey your feelings. That one act of wrath can undo about a zillion other good things you did. Sadly, the fact that stands out after that, is that you got angry, and not that you used a hundred kind words trying to explain your real feelings. Of course, there is a trigger that led you to fly into that rage, but that is conveniently forgotten by one and all. That problem is compounded, when you already are (in)famous for having a vile temper.
I was spending my time in the doldrums. I was caught in the cauldron of hate. I felt persecuted and paralyzed. I thought that everything else would just wait. While you are wasting your time on your enemies. Engulfed in a fever of spite. Beyond your tunnel vision reality fades. Like shadows into the night. To martyr yourself to caution. Is not going to help at all. Because there’ll be no safety in numbers.
When the Right One walks out of the door. Can you see your days blighted by darkness?. Is it true you beat your fists on the floor?. Stuck in a world of isolation. While ivy grows over the door.
So I open my door to my enemies. And I ask could we wipe the slate clean. But they tell me to please go fuck myself.
You know you just can’t win.
There’s a silence surrounding me. I can’t seem to think straight. I’ll sit in the corner. No one can bother me. I think I should speak now. I can’t seem to speak now. My words won’t come out right. I feel like I’m drowning. I’m feeling weak now. But I can’t show my weakness. I sometimes wonder. Where do we go from here? It doesn’t have to be like this. All we need to do is make sure we keep talking.
Why won’t you talk to me. You never talk to me. What are you thinking. What are you feeling. Where do we go from here??
I feel like I’m drowning. You know I can’t breathe now. We’re going nowhere. We’re going nowhere.
There is more to ‘Keep Talking’ than what meets the eye.
Thirteen years ago, to the exact minute of this post, I lost my grandmother. The sole person responsible for me retaining my mental balance from a not so pleasant childhood.
There comes a time in life, I believe, where you look back and analyse. Dissect, look through a microscope at every little incident that affected you, in a good or bad way. I’ve been doing that for a long time now, and I’ve been arriving at not so necessarily pleasant conclusions. Not that they worrry me, but they’re important,
I never thought I’d ever think along these lines. But, now I’ve gradually realised, these are the truths of life, no matter how bitter they are. And to a ‘certain’ sweetheart who’s very concerned about the topics I’m posting, all is well! (more…)
I know its been a long time since I last posted. Its not that life has been entirely uneventful. People who’ve been around me for the past couple of months will know how ‘happening’ life has been. There has been a thoroughly enjoyable trip to Pune, which I mentioned in my previous posts, but life after that has been pretty monotonous, generally speaking. (more…)
There are changes. They need to be made. Fast. Urgent. Behaviourial adjustments. (more…)
I’ve been used to handling tremendous amounts of pressure. Right through my childhood, into my teens, during engineering, to cut a long story short, throughout my life, until about six months ago.
The past 2 weeks have perhaps been the most hectic weeks ever. Been swarmed with work, and more work, and then, even more work. have been using my home as a guest house, literally just sleeping, waking up, getting to work and the cycle repeating. (more…)
Life has been through a zillion changes, most of them spontaneously forcing me to think if I was living life the way it must be lived.
I’ve realised the need to look deep into myself, iron out many niggling, ridiculous, borderline insane traits in my behaviourial patterns. The virtues of patience, or the vices of the antonym have suddenly dawned upon me. (more…)
