Convo with my erstwhile ‘Broadband’ Internet provider.

Me: My net is not working. Does not even ping the gateway, after I ping my router.
Exec: Can you browse?
Me: No, how can I if the gateway is not pinging?
Exec : Sir, can you please check?
Me: (irritated) Okay. Its not.
Exec: Sir, can you plug out LAN Cable and plug it back in?
Me: (stupid bloody peacemeal networking solutions) Yeah, done. Not working. (though I did not do it)
Exec: can you reinstall the TCPIP stack?
Me: wohohohoho!, What is wrong? Why should I?
Exec: Sir, your OS is corrupted. If does not work, format your PC. I can see your computer on my network. Its funny why you cannot ping. I can ping your machine.
Me: Great (I plug out the LAN cable, ensuring there is no way he can ping my machine.) Can you ping now?
Exec: Yes sir, I can.
Me: (A couple of minutes later). Now?
Exec: (Irritated). Yes, I can!. Sir, your OS is corrupted, Please reinstall Windows after formatting. There are a lot of Viruses on your PC. I can see.
Me: But I’m running Linux!
Exec: Linux? Sorry sir, our net does not work on Linux.
Me:????????????????????????????????????????????????? (*&*^&^&^^&^(#()@#@)#)@)#) . Fine, I’ll connect my Windows XP laptop. (After connecting) Okay, its pinging my router, and beyond that it does not ping your gateway.
Exec: You have a router sir? Our Internet does not work with Customer installed routers. You need to be certified to install routers.
Me: Hmmm. can you come home and check?
Exec: (After haggling a little). Okay.

I decided to teach this dude a lil networking lesson…
He comes in, and after a bit of examination…

Exec: Sir, your LAN card needs to be replaced.
Me: (fuming by this point). Connect the laptop, and check. if that does not work, please do not tell me I need to change my laptop. If you do tell me that, connect the other laptop, if that does not work, please get out of here and take your Internet connection with you.
Exec: I will check sir. (Goes upstairs, and figures out his switch atop my building had hung. One restart was all it took. for it to work again.)
Me: I knew it all this while dude. And next time, ensure you have your basics right before you argue, for the heck of it. Please say you do not know stuff instead of beating around the bush to customers.

After a bit of letting him know that I had a masters in Networks, and the fact that I really would not tolerate people giving me tripe, it was curtains for my neighbourhood Internet chappie.

It happens only in India…

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