Today is the day all mankind must unite to fight an evil that has been plaguing us for eons now. How many times have we walked out, wearing neatly ironed, fresh smelling clothes, only to be vandalised by mankind’s quitessential avian enemy? How many times have we had to soil our handkercheives? How many times have we been left stinky because of these pesky birds?

Let us affirm that from this day on, we shall not let this happen again. Let us avenge the insult suffered by us until now, by celebrating ‘Crap on the Crow’ day, by ensuring that we catch at least one crow today, every year, and crap all our shit out on it, obviously maintaining the limits of decency by first tying the crow to our toilet commodes, and bask in glory of hearing the f***** caw in despair as it drowns in the pool of our shit, eventually enduring a slow, painful, and obviously, very very stinky death.

As a mark of disrespect, let us all celebrate Crap on the Crow day on 14th February every year.

This is anyday a much more challenging, adventurous, funny and intelligent pastime for 14th February, rather than celebrating yet another synonym for utter crowshit (Thank you, Neil, for the suggested word), commonly referred to as Valentines Day.

Talk about killing two birds with one stone..

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