They always said life teaches you things. Things about people. About behaviour. About attitudes. Things I always pooh poohed. Philosophical shit that never interested me. Then came a time, people started throwing shit at me, latest being about a minute before I wrote this. Now, I realise mistakes I made. Now I realise I what a fake existence I am being made to live. How self centered people are.
Its my fault. I always placed my friends over me. No one, and I mean NO ONE among my friends have done that for me. I’ve been there for them EVERYTIME, and I mean everytime. Maybe its due to the lack of my belief in family life. I can categorically state, none of the people close to me can touch their heart and say I’ve not been there for them. People close to me know, I can make out from their voice if there’s something wrong with them. Even the way they type. When I need them, they’re almost never there. They’re doing something else, studying, shopping, at a funeral, repairing a phone, or just plain bored to listen me out, and cooking excuses. But, if I’m not there, its blasphemy, a crime. A sin for which I’m put through things I should not. Dozens of times, I’ve looked at certain people I’d love to be like, giving a f*** about everything else except themselves. I fail miserably in that aspect. I cant be that way. I’m not built that way. Why should I be there everytime, and I mean, everytime people need me? Why should I call people everytime? I’d rather be this self centered hedonist than a caring, concerned friend, because of the complete lack of appreciation for my that VERY thought. I’m a loner, however antithetical to that it looks to people to who remotely know me. I’m a loner, and I always will be.

I’m kinda waiting for the day, my close friends call me an asshole. Tell me I have changed. Turned into this self obsessed monster. That’ll make me happy. Because the truth of life is simple.

The only ones who are taken for granted are the people who are very nice to you, and you know REALLY CARE about you.

And I do not need comments on these thoughts. Maybe I’m being unfair to some people, but sometimes, you simply have to.

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