I’m supposed to report to work at 10.30am. I used to take the train at 9.55am at Chembur, change at Vashi for the 10.18 train to Koparkhairane, with my office BANG opposite it. The frequency on the Thane Vashi line was pretty poor, with trains every hour and ten minutes. Luckily, the train was synchronised with the office timings, so it was all good. Everything was going along well, until day before, when word spread that a new train was scheduled to start from the next morning, with an extra service added to increase the frequency to 30-40 mins per train.

All appeared normal, with the typical Central Railway attitude, no one knowing when the new trains would be starting. Everyone had a copy of the new timetable, which in itself was an adventure, with two timetables having different train timings being circulated. One appeared genuine, from the Central Railway website, and we all decided to follow it. The other one was fake, with handwritten timings. The new train was inaugurated last evening, and there would be service as per the new timetable, from today. (The train from Vashi to work had changed to 10.15, instead of 10.18).

Today, 10.10am at Vashi station. No sign of the 10.15 train. 10.15. 10.20. Still no sign. Then a train pulled in. I went up to the driver and asked him when was the departure. He said 10.30. And then it dawned.

The ‘real’ time tabel we had, was fake. The handwritten one by the way, was also fake. Only, it was more genuine than the ‘Real’ one.

I’ve heard of fake Nokia batteries, fake phone panels, fake car components, fake currency notes, but a fake train timetable is the last thing on God’s Green Earth you’d expect.

As one popular song went, ‘It happens only in India!’

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